What was so scary?
One year ago, July 26, 2016, to be exact, I announced to friends and clients alike, the creation of Standing Six – Equine Support for First Responders. My FB page went up with a logo, mission statement and vision. Everything was primed to go. Everything but me.
I just didn’t know it.
The first few days were a whirl of excitement. Friends congratulated me, clients from Empowered by Horses and Unbridled Potential asked questions and vowed to pass my name on. I felt energized and motivated for several weeks. Then it hit me. What I have done?
Although my drive and fiery passion remained powerful the fear I felt was equally debilitating. The conflicting emotions confused me. How could I have driven in a police pursuit, attended a sudden death and handcuffed an aggressive person twice my size YET now tremble in fear at the thought of putting myself out there on a website? What was so scary?
My answers were plentiful but all were excuses: I haven’t enough time; I am busy; I really don’t have anything to offer; I am not an expert. But, of course, I am an expert. I know how I feel, I know my experiences are real, I know what my truth is. And the bottom line is, Standing Six is rooted in my story.
While Standing Six is a supportive and healing program for First Responders managing and recovering from the effects of job-related stress I knew that it would not be a success until I told my story. And there lay my fears. In putting myself out there—telling my story—I was opening myself up to the potential of judgement, ostracism and denial.
It took me a year to work through this fear but with my herd of horses by my side, I am finally ready to share who I am and re-launch Standing Six.
Standing Six is based on research that shows how equine facilitated programming is therapeutic in the recovery from trauma and stress. But it is also fuelled by my experiences and how I recovered from depression and PTSD. My goal and my hope with Standing Six is that others can also begin their journey on the path to healing.